Movie Reviews

    Look, guys, it’s The Emoji Movie.  It is a movie that is based on a keyboard on our cell phones.  What were we honestly expecting from this?  Would you be excited for The Home Row Movie?  I am all about going into a movie with an open mind and not judging the movie until I see the final product, but when the movie is based on a keyboard, it’s kind of tough.  However, the…

    After taking a five year break after the sensational Zero Dark Thirty (2012), director Kathryn Bigelow is back and better than ever with Detroit.  This is an absolute knockout.  A hot-blooded, intense, gut-wrenching, socially relevant masterpiece about one of America’s darkest hidden secrets. Detroit takes us to July of 1967, where race riots are raging in the streets of Detroit, Michigan, throwing the city into complete chaos.  On one fateful night, an incident between the…

      In Atomic Blonde, the Blonde in question is Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron), a sexy, badass M:I6 agent with a love for vodka.  Like most cinematic spies, like James Bond or Jason Bourne, she is stealthy with a gun, quick with the hands, and leaves no henchmen left behind.  However, unlike those two, Broughton is far from perfect at her job, but gets things done by being a pure badass.  The movie is much like…

    Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is an experience unlike any I have ever had at the movies.  I am writing this review three days after seeing the movie and I still can’t fully grasp what I witnessed.  I can’t tell if Valerian is a groundbreaking masterpiece, a campy classic, or a complete disaster. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is set in the 28th century and follows Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline…

    Christopher Nolan has done it again.  The director who has brought us modern classics in Memento (2001), The Dark Knight (2008), and Inception (2010) has made yet another masterpiece in Dunkirk.  This is an incredibly intense, thoroughly engrossing war film and the best movie of 2017 so far. Dunkirk takes a look at the invasion of Dunkirk during World War II, where the German army has surrounded Allied troops in the French city.  Nolan breaks this down into three parts;…

The final chapter in the Planet of the Apes prequel trilogy is a perfect ending to one of cinema’s greatest trilogies.  War for the Planet of the Apes ranks with Return of the Jedi (1983) and Toy Story 3 (2010) as the greatest finale to a trilogy I have ever seen.  This is a bold, epic, beautifully shot movie and one of the best movies of 2017. War takes place two years after the events of Dawn of the…

    Wish Upon is about a teenage girl named Clare (Joey King) who receives an ancient box that will magically grant her seven wishes.  However, with each wish, somebody close to her dies, which causes Clare into a downward spiral or paranoia, greed, and stupidity. I am not going to break this movie down like I usually do in my reviews.  Instead, I am going list seven wishes that I wish for this movie.  These…

        Spider-Man: Homecoming is a testament to Kevin Feige and Marvel Studios.  Over the last fifteen years, when Sam Raimi debuted his original Spider-Man (2002), we have seen five Spider-Man films, which included one trilogy, one incomplete trilogy, and two different Spider-Man’s (Spider-Men?) in Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield. With Spider-Man: Homecoming, we get our third version of Spider-Man, with a new actor in the red and blue spandex, new villains, and a new story.  But, instead of…

    Gru and the minions are back in Despicable Me 3, a movie that if I were seven years old would probably land at the top spot of Best Movie of 2017.  But I’m not seven, I’m almost 30, and Despicable Me 3 is landing nowhere near the top of my Best of 2017 list. It isn’t going to land near the bottom either, however.  In fact, I genuinely enjoyed this movie for the most part….

    Will Ferrell is an actor who, for some reason, has a direct line to my funny bone.  Not my literal one, though, because that would be weird, but my metaphorical one.  I don’t know why he has this affect on me, but he does.  Even his more inferior movies make me laugh.  And once again, Farrell has succeeded in getting a slew of chuckles out of me in The House.  It isn’t one of…