Movie Reviews

        Walking out of The Equalizer 2, I had a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.  It’s a feeling that I don’t like and it’s a feeling that I knew would come eventually, but one I wasn’t prepared.  It was the feeling of disappointment. You might be thinking, “what do you mean you haven’t been disappointed in a movie in awhile?”  That’s not the disappointment I’m talking about.  I…

I don’t watch a ton of T.V., mostly because I am constantly watching movies, both new releases and repeat viewings.  But when I do watch T.V., a lot of what I watch is on the Food Network.  I love watching the cooking competition shows.  I don’t know why or how, since I don’t cook very well, but they’re just wildly entertaining to me.  On most of these cooking shows, the main objective for our chefs…

        Did you feel depressed after Avengers: Infinity War?  Did you feel lifeless, like your soul got ripped from your body after a simple snap?  Looking for a cure?  Well have a dose of Ant-Man and the Wasp, a lively, action-packed, wildly entertaining, hilarious, and just flat-out awesome entry in the MCU. Ant-Man and the Wasp takes place before Infinity War but after Civil War, as Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) is now under house arrest by the…

        The First Purge is about exactly what you think it’s about: the first purge ever.  The purge, of course, being a government issued law stating that for one day a year, all crime throughout America is legal.  However, it didn’t start as something that occurred all over the United States.  It started as an experiment on Staten Island, headed by Arlo Sabian (Patch Darragh) and Dr. Updale (Marisa Tomei).  The two…

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a movie about what happens when stupid people are in charge of important tasks.  Almost every decision every character makes is a terrible one, one that puts either themselves or everyone around them in even more danger than they were already just in.  The result is one of the most infuriating film-going experiences I’ve had in 2018 and a new low for the Jurassic Park franchise. Fallen Kingdom picks up three years after…

      Film history has proven that sequels released more than a decade after the last film tend to not be very good.  Examples of this include Godfather III (16 years after Godfather II), Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (23 years after Wall Street), Basic Instinct 2 (14 years after Basic Instinct), and Dumb and Dumber To (20 years after Dumb and Dumber). But Pixar seems to be the exception to this rule.  With sequels like Toy Story 3 and Finding Dory, Pixar seems to have…

        Hereditary is a movie I saw back in January at the Sundance Film Festival and it is a movie that has been engrained in my mind since.  Director Ari Aster has created a modern horror classic.  It’s a tense, moody, atmospheric thriller with deep themes and beautiful craftsmanship.  It is genuinely one of the most haunting movie experiences I have ever had and the best movie that I have seen in 2018 so…

      Upgrade is an unexpected triumph.  I call it unexpected because the title of this movie is horrible (every time I say the title, I say it like Maya Rudolph’s character in Idiocracy, where it sounds more like “upgrayde”), and the marketing of the movie made it look like the kind of throwaway action flick we get every year: low budget, violent, minor actors, etc. But Upgrade is far more than that.  Upgrade is a smart, thrilling, compelling,…

      Here’s a brief conversation between myself and my girlfriend while watching Adrift:   Girlfriend: How long is this movie? Me: Two hours. Girlfriend: How much longer do we have? Me: *looks at watch* an hour. Girlfriend: *sighs* I feel Shailene Woodley’s pain.   I wasn’t in nearly as much pain watching this movie as my girlfriend was, but this brief conversation sums up a lot of how I feel about Adrift, a poorly constructed,…