Movie Reviews

        Stuber is the dumb person’s version of Michael Mann’s Collateral.  It’s a movie about two men who are bad at their jobs who randomly meet to solve each other’s issues.  It’s incoherent, dumb, really messy and really violent.  It does have the saving grace of its two leads, though they aren’t served properly for how talented the two men are. L.A.P.D. officer Vic Manning (Dave Bautista) has been after Oka Tedjo (Iko…

        I went into Crawl with limited expectations.  All I wanted was some cheap jump scares and some gator mayhem and I got just that.  But Crawl is a horror movie that is focused on far more than just cheap scares and alligators.  This is a relentless, claustrophobic thriller that deals with family drama and believing in yourself. Crawl takes us to Florida as a Category 5 hurricane is about to hit.  Haley (Kaya…

        The opening sequence of Jon Favreau’s The Lion King, Disney’s latest reimagining of one of their animated classics, is a shot-for-shot recreation of the opening number from the original 1994 film.  We open to a rising sun and hear the loud, iconic opening to “Circle of Life” and see the animals all reacting.  This sequence is truly breathtaking and an incredible way to start the film.  The photo-realistic animals and the way…

      Leaving the theater after seeing Midsommar, you would have thought that I just went five rounds with Mike Tyson.  I was sweating, out of breath, and exhausted.  My head was spinning and my heart-rate was jacked.  Writer/director Ari Aster has created yet another incredible feature film.  It is a film that you cannot shake and one of the best movies of 2019. After a horrific event, Dani (Florence Pugh) is empty and…

        In Spider-Man: Far From Home, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) goes on a school trip with his classmates to Europe, a vacation Parked undoubtedly needed after going to space, disappearing into a cloud of dust, coming back to life, defeating a galaxy-threatening Thanos with dozens of other superheroes, watching his mentor and father-figure die, and trying readjust to a normal life after all of this.  Before Parker heads to Europe, Happy Hogan (Jon…

      The Conjuring franchise can be broken down into three segments.  The strongest segment features The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2, James Wan’s horror masterpieces.  The weakest segment belongs to The Nun, a scare-less movie that was the product of hype from The Conjuring 2’s main villain.  The middle segment, and most interesting, are the Annabelle movies, Annabelle and Annabelle Creation.  The first Annabelle was awful, a boring movie that added nothing to…

        In director Danny Boyle’s latest film, Yesterday, a world-wide blackout occurs and causes everyone in the world except for one man to forget The Beatles ever existed.  After the film was finished, I wish a rolling blackout occurred so I could forget this entire movie existed.  Though the film has an original and unique idea, screenwriter Richard Curtis and Boyle have no idea what to do with. Jack Malik (Himesh Patel,…

          I don’t know how they keep doing it, but Pixar has done it again.  Toy Story 4 is another triumph for the animated studio.  A gorgeous, smart, funny, emotional film about finding your place in life, family, and love. The last time we saw Woody (voiced once again by Tom Hanks), Buzz (Tim Allen), Jesse (Joan Cusack), and the gang they were being given to Bonnie from Andy, who was off…

        I saw Men in Black: International four days ago and it is a movie that has already vanished from my memory, almost as if I had be neuralyzed (sorry sorry, I had to).  In an attempt to recreate the magic this franchise that hasn’t had in over twenty years, Men in Black: International commits the most egregious sin this franchise could have done: it isn’t any fun.  Sure, Men in Black II and III weren’t…

          The Dead Don’t Die is a Jim Jarmusch zombie movie, which means it’s not your typical zombie movie.  Sure, there are brain-dead zombies who slowly roam around a small town occasionally eating the civilians innards while other locals try to stop them, but Jarmusch has more on his mind than just that.  Jarmusch wants to let us know the world is going to end, even when it is right in front…