Movie Review: Madame Web

I normally don’t pay attention to the press tours of movies, where the filmmakers and the actors are interviewed by dozens upon dozens of media and press outlets to promote their latest movie, but it was impossible to escape the press tour for Madame Web, particularly the clips involving the film’s star Dakota Johnson. Johnson’s dry, off-beat brand of humor was in full force in these interviews, as she talked about how “chaotic” shooting the film was and claimed she liked Marvel and Marvel movies, yet could not name any of the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies. The lack of promotion for the film and the general vibe Johnson was giving was worrisome 

The biggest red flag about the quality of Madam Web was when Johnson claimed that she had not seen the finished product and would see it “eventually.” The star of a big franchise film not seeing the completed movie shows a lack of passion and support for the film, which didn’t bode well for its quality.

The red flags were correct. Madame Web is not a good movie. But, through all of its awfulness, and there is a lot of it, there is the framework of a good movie, which helped me appreciate the film even just a little bit to not hate it.

Madame Web is the latest film from Sony Pictures in their attempt to expand their Spider-Man universe by making films without Spider-Man in them and instead focusing on either Spider-Man’s villains, like Venom and Morbius, or other heroes in the Spider-Man world, like Madame Web. This universe hasn’t been met kindly, with poor critical response and lackluster box office. Unfortunately, Madame Web is not going to improve the reputation of these films. It isn’t as bad as Morbius, but it’s still rough in almost every aspect.

Set in 2003 in New York, we are introduced to Cassandra Webb (Johnson), an EMT whose job has made her emotionally distant from others. She has good banter with her fellow EMT, Ben Parker (Adam Scott, and yes, he is that Ben Parker), but other than that, her best connection is with a stray cat whom she feeds from time to time. While on the job, Cassandra gets into an accident that nearly kills her, but unlocks a clairvoyant superpower that allows her to see the future, which finds Cassandra attached to three young girls (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor) who are being hunted by a wealthy man (Tahar Rahim) with the powers of a spider.

Madame Web doesn’t have a look, a feel, or a vision. The overall tone of the film feels rushed and uninspired and I’m not sure if this is because of director S.J. Clarkson, who was an accomplished TV director before jumping to film for this film, and her vision of the film or was her vision of the film interrupted by studio interference or a combination of both, but regardless, the film is just badly made. The screenplay, while having the basic core of a standard superhero origin story, is absurd even for a superhero movie. The dialog is heavy on exposition and cheeky one-liners that fall flat. The performances are stilted and there is no chemistry between anybody, which makes any scenes with multiple characters tough to watch. The film is visually flat, they completely re-recorded all of Rahim’s dialog. Why? I don’t know, but it is very distracting and absurd. The action is okay, but doesn’t happen nearly enough to make the film exciting.

There is a world where someone could have made a good Madame Web movie. It might even be this world. But as for this Madame Web movie, there isn’t anything good about it. It is one of the worst superhero movies in recent years and maybe of all time. 

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