Movie Reviews

Don’t Breathe should really be called Don’t Fuck with Stephen Lang.  This movie is an hour and a half of Lang kicking ass and taking names, as he plays a blind war veteran, known only as Blind Man, defending his house from three hooligans (Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette, Daniel Zavatto) who break in trying to steal a large amount of money. The first half of the movie is incredibly intense.  The kids think they have it easy,…

I am claiming 2016 The Year of Animation.  So many animated movies have been released and most of them have been very, very good.  Finding Dory and Sausage Party led the way in terms of quality, but both may have just been jumped by Kubo and the Two Strings.  This is an imaginative, heartwarming, exciting film that features some of the best animation I have ever seen on screen. Kubo and the Two Strings follows our cycloptic…

It takes a wild and crazy director to bring a wild a crazy story to life.  War Dogs has both of these things.  Director Todd Phillips, known mostly for his comedic work, lends his directorial talents to this incredible true story about two twentysomething stoners (Miles Teller and Jonah Hill) who become international arms dealers. The story is almost too obscure to be real.  But Phillips knows how to handle chaos well and not over do…

Sausage Party is possibly the most vulgar movie I have ever seen.  It makes South Park: Bigger Longer, and Uncut (1999) look like Sesame Street.  It is a coarse, crude, gross, hour and a half-long sex joke that is uproariously funny, incredibly quotable, and wonderfully animated. Sausage Party is about a hot dog, Frank (voiced by Seth Rogen), who is patiently waiting to be purchased with his hot dog bun girlfriend, Brenda (Kristen Wiig) so that he can finally…

“Worst.  Heroes.  Ever.” That’s the tag line for Suicide Squad.  And while they may not be the absolute worst, they’re pretty bad. “Worst.  Movie.  Ever.” That’s the thought that ran through my mind a couple times while sitting through the neon-colored vomit that is Suicide Squad.  It may not be the absolute worst, but it’s pretty bad. Suicide Squad is a complete and utter disaster.  A film so thin in story and so bloated with characters that…

There is a line in Jason Bourne where Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is talking to former C.I.A operative and confidant Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles) about the new government threat, Iron Hand.  Bourne wants to know why Parson’s has taken him out of hiding to stop Iron Hand. Parsons: “It matters.  Everything matters.” Bourne: “Not to me it doesn’t.” These lines perfectly summarize Jason Bourne.  This movie doesn’t matter.  The only people this movie matters to is the studio…

With horror master James Wan as a producer and a couple of great trailers, Lights Out looked like it could rival The Conjuring 2 as the horror movie of the summer.  But apparently when the lights go out in Lights Out, so do the scares, as this turns from potential scarefest to a boring mess. Lights Out follows a family who is being terrorized by a demon who only appears in the dark and they must figure out a…

Before the summer movie season started, I listed Star Trek Beyond number one on my list of Potential Busts this summer.  The trailers didn’t look great, J.J Abrams left the director’s chair and replacing him was Justin Lin, who’s only good films were Fast Five (2011) and Fast 6 (2013). I don’t like admitting when I’m wrong, but I will here.  Star Trek Beyond is far from a bust.  It’s not a perfect movie, but it is an extremely entertaining…

Paul Fieg’s Ghostbusters is the most divisive movie of 2016 and it all happened before it even came out.  After the first trailer became the most disliked video on YouTube, tons of internet trolls bashed the film, claiming it a bad before anybody ever saw it. Well trolls, I have one thing to say to you.  Suck it!  Ghostbusters is pure awesomeness.  A worthy reboot with a cool plot, tons of comedy, a great cast, and exciting action….

The summer 2016 movie season has been a solid one, but the one thing it has been missing is a great comedy.  The best one we got so far was The Nice Guys, but that movie had a body count as high as its laugh count.  It needed one that was as fun as it was funny.  With Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, we finally got the comedy that we needed this summer.  It is a…