Movie Reviews

I absolutely hated The Purge (2013).  It was a unique idea, but it failed miserably on all fronts.  Never in my mind did I think it would get a sequel, let alone a trilogy, but here we are, because fuck it, why not?  The Purge: Anarchy took the series into a totally different direction, making it more of an action-horror film.  It was a better movie than the first, but that isn’t saying much.  That’s essentially…

Nothing screams summer movies quite like necrophilia and cannibalism, am I right?  No?  Well apparently it does to Nicolas Winding Refn.  The Neon Demon is a Tinseltown horror film.  It takes us deep into the underbelly of the modeling world and shows us a dark, twisted side that is filled with lies, deceit, blood, and glitter. When aspiring model Jesse (Elle Fanning) moves to Los Angeles searching for fame, her innocence and vitality disappears as she…

If Jaws (1975), 127 Hours (2010), and Sharknado (2013) had a messy threesome, the end result would be The Shallows.  This is a relentless, roller-coaster ride in the ocean that starts off very interesting and suspenseful but takes a wild left turn into absurdity and unintentional hilarity. Blake Lively stars as Nancy, a surfer who is attacked by a great white shark while ripping a wave.  She saves her self by swimming onto a rock 200 yards away from shore.  Nancy must use…

For a movie called Central Intelligence, the movie is incredibly stupid.  I understand that its intention is suppose to be a fun, mind-less action comedy, but it fails on all fronts.  It isn’t fun, it isn’t funny, and the plot far too complex for its own good and incredibly predictable. Kevin Hart stars as Calvin Joyner, a former high school hotshot who is now an unhappy accountant.  When former classmate, now C.I.A agent, Bob Stone (Dwayne…

Finding Dory is the best Pixar film since Toy Story 3 (2010).  It takes everything that was great about Finding Nemo (2003) and elevates it to new heights.  It’s a funny, exciting, captivating sequel featuring great characters, new and old, and will pull at the heartstrings as much as any other Pixar movie. Finding Dory takes place one year after the events of Finding Nemo.  This time, Dory (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres) searches the entire ocean and an aquarium to find…

The Conjuring (2013) is one of my favorite horror movies of all-time, as well as one of the scariest.  Horror maestro James Wan created a horror film that was just as smart as it was scary.  I would have been satisfied with just one film, but, like most successful movies in Hollywood, we get a sequel.  However, in this case, making a sequel was a wise decision.  The Conjuring 2 is a true horror masterpiece.  It ups the…

Now You See Me 2 should really be called Now You See Coincidences.  This is a film that is based solely on one character predicting what another character will do.  And of course, everything goes according to plan.  From the placement of a cell phone to knowing how people will react in a particular situation, everything that every character wants works out. You know what doesn’t work out?  This movie.  Led by an all-star cast who…

I placed Warcraft at number two on my Potential Surprises list when looking at summer movies.  The film had a lot of potential.  Duncan Jones is an excellent director, having made one of the best science fiction films in the last decade with Moon (2009) and the incredibly inventive Source Code (2011).  He was finally given a big budget and it was exciting to see what he could do with that.  The visuals for the films looked spectacular and the…

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is complete and utter chaos.  A movie structured into three explosive half hour action sequences and a whole bunch of of exposition giving us necessary plot points and story structure.  This is the perfect mindless summer action movie and one that slapped a smile on my face the entire movie. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows starts with the recently detained Shredder (Brian Tee) breaking out of…

Before walking into Me Before You, the studio had the great idea of handing out a box of tissues to each patron before entering the theater.  This was a clear indication of the kind of movie this was going to be, though I had an idea this was going to be a sapfest just based on the synopsis.  I declined my box of tissues, keeping the slightest shred of man-card I had left and also feeling…